April 1st is one of those holidays that just sneaks up on me-like Halloween. I never have a cool Halloween costume because I always wait until the last minute. Same with April 1st- I never have any cool tricks because I don't have any plans.
When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Not this year.
This year I got Guapo.
Ok, this may gross you out but, unbeknownst to Guapo, I still have my home pregnancy test from when I found out I was pregnant with Pedro (...and the one from Juan Carlos but that one looked a little more worn). I know it's gross, but I just can't make myself throw them away-it's the first proof I have of their existence. I must be getting softer in my old age because I didn't keep the ones from Margarita or Julio. I hope they don't need therapy one day because I kept the other kids' tests and I didn't keep their tests.
where was I?
right, April Fool's Day.
So I waited all day for Guapo to come home from work. That's not easy for me. I am not a patient person, especially when I have a present for someone or a trick to play on them. I toyed with the idea of taking a picture of it and emailing it, but I could do that without an actual test in hand and the test's very existence was going to be the convincing factor. At one point during the day I decided I was going to send the little item with Sergio the Driver to Guapo's office; ultimately, I decided against it since I really wanted to see his face.
So, he finally came in and I was kind of quite and then I told him I had some disturbing news (not that a baby is disturbing news mind you, but a 5th baby when my 4th just turned a year, and we live in a small apartment in the middle of a big city in the middle of a foreign country, etc, etc. would be slightly disturbing at this point).
He pointed to the calendar and said, "I know what today is-this isn't going to work" and I said, "I know. I was going to wait until tomorrow so you'd believe me, but I couldn't NOT tell you. But, I guess, if you want, I'll wait until tomorrow"
(I start up the stairs)
"No no no, tell me now."
"no, it's ok, tomorrow will be better."
"did you crash your car?Is it something that is going to cost us a lot of money?"
(me, acting offended) "no, I did NOT crash the car, but yes, it is going to cost us A LOT of money"
"What is it?"
I lead him into the bathroom and start digging through the drawer (where the heck did I stash it again???). "Well, it's just that when I went to the pharmacy today to get Julio's medicine (poor Julio has strep AGAIN), I just picked up a test because I have been sooooo tired lately"
His face goes white. "What? You're kidding me."
I finally locate and whip out the ole positive test (no, that's not me in the picture). I'm about to start laughing really, really hard, so I bury my face in my hands and turn it into a kind of frantic, nervous cry/laugh*.
At which point he puts his arm around me and tells me it will be just fine and not to worry.
At which point I abort the mission. I couldn't take it-he was being so sweet, just exactly how I would need him to act if I was actually in that situation. I just couldn't keep it going.
So, I finally come up with a good joke and I can't even let it play out for 45 seconds.
Note to self for April 1, 2009: less emotional joke
Back to the drawing board
*Guapo did tell me I totally had him and that the fake crying was some of the best acting he has ever seen from me (I am a horrible liar; not that I lie a lot, but when I try, it's always painfully obvious).