Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Sadness and Comfort

I'm sorry my blog hasn't been funny or light lately. I keep this blog so I can remember things as they were, and lately they've been a little rough.

The Air France crash has hit home hard. As I mentioned on Monday, one of my friends, whose son is a good friend of Juan Carlos's, lost her husband in the crash. Ever since I got the phone call on Monday, I've been basically a wreck. My eyes are red and swollen, my head hurts, I can't sleep very well, I have a cold, and this morning I woke up with the start of a cold sore.

My head is a non-stop whirlwind of thoughts; profound sympathy for my friend and her kids and their immediate future, worrying about how my kids would take it (Juan Carlos I don't think fully gets it, Margarita seems ok, but Julio is crying off and on and wanting to talk about the details of it), wondering how they'll react when Guapo travels internationally on Monday, and how they'll do getting on a plane in two weeks. Every time I'm with Guapo I just breakdown-it's just amazing that you can be with someone you love one day and the next they are gone. And I just feel helpless; there is nothing I can do to help this woman-she is basically in hell right now and will be for quite a while.

Her in-laws arrived this morning from Norway. She will be going home for good on Friday. She has two of her close Norweigen friends at her house 24 hours a day and from what I understand, they are basically making all of her decisions for her right now as she is in shock. I guess the little girl, who is 4, is doing ok, but the little boy just keeps crying and saying that his dad's not dead, that he's just on a boat. Breaks your heart, doesn't it? The two kids are going to go to school tomorrow to say goodbye to all their friends they have made the last 2 years. And then they'll be gone-off to a new country, and a new house, and a new school, and new friends, and no dad.

I am making cupcakes to send to school for their farewell, but I don't think I can be there for it as I can't trust myself to hold it together for 15 consecutive minutes.

On top of all this, I have been feeling like there's something wrong with me for being affected so deeply by this; I mean, it wasn't anyone in my family and yes, she is my friend, buy not one of my best friends, you know?

I felt much better after I went to school this morning and was met by about 5 other moms whose faces looked just like mine-tired, sad, and all with red, puffy eyes. When we saw each other the tears came again and we just held on to one another for a minute. They all are feeling it just like me (I'm normal, thank goodness!). I think we all know it really could have been anyone of us; we are all in the same boat: young families with little kids, living in a foreign country, with husbands who who frequently travel.

We are going to prepare bags of little toys and goodies for the kids to take on the plane. That's the only thing I can think to do at this point for them.

And to think, this is just one of 228 stories...

9 comments:

Kari said...

I am so sorry; I am getting choked up thinking about it. Our prayers are with your friend and all of you.

Janice said...

It is a tragedy that haunts everyone. I don't blame you.

Calandria said...

I don't know if your reaction is 'normal' as far as what most other people would feel, but it seems so much better to feel this kind of empathy than not. To me, it would seem not normal and not desirable to just be going on as if nothing happened.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Ballerina Girl said...

Last night when hubby came home...he hugged me and held me as if there was no tomorrow...yes, we have all been extremely affected by this.
The community is small overseas...so no matter if they were your close friends (thank goodness not), or just friends you saw through school, it still hits home so hard.
Guapo will be fine, and so will we all, with time, patience and support.

Talk to you today
BG

momofalltrades said...

(((HUG)))

I feel so bad for all the families affected by this...yours included.

Head Nurse or Patient- you be the judge said...

I don't know any of the people or families personally- and yet I am emotional. Any parent/spouse gets a wake-up call in situations like this. My own husband had to fly a few days after Sept 11- and we spent quite a bit of time talking over the "whatif's", and it truly could happen to any one of us.

Maine Mom said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend's loss, which as you said has hit so close to home. I am thinking of you and all who are suffering from this loss. It makes us all reflect on our lives and our families I think.

txmommy said...

I'm so sorry. The sadnesses in mortality are hard to face, I guess that's why we mourn together. I don't think you are unusual in your grief at all.

I hope your next weeks go by quickly and that your travel safely.

Sis Lewis said...

My heart aches for the family you know as well as the other 228. My neighbor has always said, "Live each day as if it were you last."
We never know when our lives will change or what lies ahead.