Thursday, February 17, 2011

Good Ol' Tom

I think I mentioned a while ago that I try to go to a yoga class once a week. The teacher and I have the same name in real life, so let's call her "Gabriela the Instructor". Occasionally Guapo goes with me because it helps his back. Occasionally another man goes with the same name (in real life) as Guapo (he, btw, is the best yogi we have ever seen so we'll call him "Guapo the Pro"). So, on any given day we have two Gabrielas and two Guapos in class.

The instructor is very into yoga-as might be expected of a yoga instructor. She starts every class with a lecture that she has prepared about how we can "take our yoga off the mat" and apply it to our lives. She says things that sound strange to me like, "imagine light beams shooting out of your heart/fingertips/head" and "let your butt blossom, I'm the only one can see" and lots of "hug muscle to bone". She is also very positive and supportive even when you know you look like a complete and utter dork and says things like, "Right on!" or "You're rocking it!".

Does this annoy me? No, not at all, she's lovely (with a name like Gabriela, how bad could she be?).

It should be mentioned that we have a fairly small class-but it's a rec center class, so there are always people coming and going. She likes it to be personal and to use your name a lot- I'd say 10-15 times during the hour long class.

Guapo hasn't been going lately since he's getting his new business up and running, but last week he decided to surprise me and show up at yoga without telling me. Problem was, I had a ton of errands to do that day and I didn't go, so I missed him. :(

He tells me after the class that although he corrected her a couple of times, Gabriela the Instructor kept calling him "Tom" instead of "Guapo". He finally gave up. A couple of times when she was offering up some yoga suggestions (calling him "Tom", of course) he didn't clue in that she meant him and she mentioned to the class how "Tom" was really into his practice that day-so much so that he was zoning her out.

After he related the story, Guapo tells me he's pleased with his new name. "Tom" is now his yoga alter-ego.

Well, today we were all there-me, Gabriela the instructor, Guapo and Guapo the Pro. Except for that Guapo is now Tom. And Tom doesn't correct Gabriela the Instructor. And she keeps calling him Tom like every 3 minutes. Tom was having a bad yoga day and Guapo the Pro was having a good yoga day (like always)-so she keeps saying things like, "You've almost got it, Tom!", "Beautiful, Guapo." and "Keep trying, Tom, you can do it!", "Perfect, Guapo.", "No shame in using the wall, Tom." And I can't take it-I am belly laughing every time-seriously shaking with the giggles and Tom is sitting there with a straight face. It's too funny. No more "zoning her out"-oh no,no- now he really is Tom.

And let me tell you- it's next to impossible to hold a decent tree pose when the man I've been married to for close to 15 years is now Tom.

And the best was at the end when Guapo the Pro, who is always way too cool to talk to anyone in the class, goes up to Tom and asks him, "Hey, isn't your name Guapo?" He replies, "Yes, but she keeps calling me Tom, so I'm just going with it." And he replies, "I get it. You've got bigger fish to fry." And Tom replies, "Yeah."

I dunno, maybe you had to be there, but it was hilarious.

10 comments:

andalucy said...

I wasn't there but I find it hilarious! Great story.

Yet another thing we have in common--I love yoga! I have never considered letting my butt blossom, however. I'll have to try that. ;-)

Aaron Waldrip said...

I love this story more than I can explain in words. Guapo always was a tom cat.

Ballerina Girl said...

ok...now I know this is not the point of this post BUT...
YOGA?! Wow, and to think, all I could think of, and had me giggling, is not the whole Tom, Pro, discussion...but the fact of our fabulous, beautiful yoga instructor in Rio when we were there. I just kept picturing her and Tom and the comments she made about you-know-what, etc....

Sorry...but I did still giggle over the post!
BG

Janice said...

I LOVE this story.

nikko said...

Wait, what? Your real names aren't Gabriela and Guapo? ;o)

Abby said...

I was laughing so hard throughout this post. You definitely conveyed the humor. Picturing Guapo throughout this whole thing was priceless...I can totally picture him rolling with the "Tom" thing.

Matt said...

I was shaking from the giggles while reading this, as you were each time Tom was addresses.

He actually looks like a Tom to me now that I think about it.

Kari said...

Thank you, once again, for the mid-day chuckle. At least Tom is a good, solid name...she doesn't call him some name he thinks is awful.

Maine Mom said...

Too funny! How is your orchid doing? :-)

Mary said...

Gabriela--I'm an lds mom of four also and I found your blog bc my husband has been offered a job in Rio for a couple years and I have so MANY questions. If you have any time, could you email me (I couldn't find your email) and I can ask some of the questions I'm dying to have answered before we make this life changing decision. Thanks so much in advance. P.S. loved reading your blog--read the whole thing starting yesterday and finishing this morning...
marysmcgrath@gmail.com