Maid Tenure

I have been avoiding my blog. I have been in the worst mood ever and I just didn't want to involve all 5 of you that read my blog.

But, just as I must remember how hard a toddler is, at some point in the future, when I am living in the States sans domestic help, I need to remember what a pain in the rear it was sometimes to have the so-called "help".

So, I will share with you what has been driving me NUTS the last week (just ask poor Ballerina Girl, I'm sure she's sick of hearing about my maid troubles). And if you are sick of my maid tales, just come back next week and I'll have moved on (or so I hope).

About 6 or 7 months ago I found a note my maid had written and left out in a place that I would find it. It had the names of her 3 children and then a girl's name and a boy's name, options, if you will, for an unborn 4th child. I freaked out for a moment and then asked her if she was pregnant and she told me, "Nooooooo!" like I was crazy or something. She told me "someday" she wanted another child, but not in the near future.

We should have fired her that day.

Fast forward to our trip to the States and her bulging stomach that I attributed to all of the fast food burgers that always had to include bacon. Then we arrive back in Brazil and lo and behold-she's pregnant.

So, what's the big deal?

The big deal is that Brazil has got some pretty serious laws about pregnant maids. Like you can't fire them. Well, that's a nice law isn't it? I mean, how rude would it be to fire your pregnant maid? Well, if your maid wants to show up 4 hours late every day and sit around and eat bonbons and watch a novela instead of working you can't really do anything about it. Or if she doesn't show up at all- you can't fire her. And she knows it.

Then, they get a 4 month paid maternity leave, 5 months if they are nursing, during which time you of course, can't fire them, even if you've hired someone else that you like better. You can't fire them, in fact, until 2 months after their maternity leave.

I'm not being completely honest. You can fire a pregnant maid. But, if you do, you must pay them their salary for the remainder of their pregnancy and their 4-or-5 month maternity leave (I'm guessing most decide to nurse, what do you think?). And with the dollar where it's at, and the Real where it's at we are not talking about pocket change here.

If you don't completely comply with this law you will most likely be sued by your maid who will most likely win.

So back to my maid. As far as she knows, we are leaving the end of July 2009. Is it just a huge coincidence that her due date is 4 1/2 months before then? I hope it is, but I am really starting to wonder. Basically she will be able to goof around the next 7 months, then take off 5 months months, and then collect unemployment for the following 6 months if we do happen to leave the country. Doesn't sound so bad, does it?

In the past 3 weeks since my normally responsible maid told me she's pregnant she's showed up late 4 times, taken 4 days off for "appointments", three days for doctor recommended "rest", and when she has been here she mopes around like I am the wicked witch of the west for making her work at all.

Monday she came to work totally downtrodden and sick. She had a headache and was nauseated and *gasp* she almost threw up the day before! After watching her production for about an hour I told her she could go home. She decided that with symptoms like hers, she needed to go to the hospital. The doctor gave her a note that said she needs 3 days of rest.

And.Nothing.Trumps.The.Doctor.Note.

So basically anytime she wants a few days off, she just has to head to her doctor and complain a little and she'll get a note. And I have to pay her even though she is not here. And there's nothing I can do about it.

When she called to tell me about her note (at 9:00 that night, leaving me no time to make arrangements for the next day), I said, "so then you'll be here on Saturday, right?"

Pause..., "Well, I guess...if you really need me to come." like I am totally putting her out.

AGGGGGGGGGGHHHH.

When I'm back in the States complaining about housework, please remind me of this.